I have been inspired. One of my best friends has a blog going to practice her writing and reading it everyday reminds me that I used to write as well. The only difference is that mine will not be a blog of fantastical short stories, it will be a blog of memories. Those that I can't stand to lose.
Those closest to me know that I have a memory problem. I find it next to impossible to explain to anyone else but now I feel like pieces of me are turning into smoke and slipping through my fingers. I don't know if its a medical issue or psychological but its never been serious enough for me to visit a doctor. I'm far too lazy for that. The best way I have found to explain it is that I don't remember things the way other people do. I have almost nothing left past maybe a year back. I remember the facts of my life as told by other people but I have no personal attachment to those stories. Its almost as if my mind doesn't believe that I was apart of those stories. I don't believe that it was some tragic event that's too dark for my conscious mind to handle or that I'm repressing some Hollywood worthy horror story. Its just the way I am now. I can't retain my memories.
My mother suggests that my long term memory loss is related to the crazy medications I was on as a teenager and I am inclined to agree with her. I only became aware of it after I graduated from high school. I've kept journals for years off and on but so many have been damaged or lost that I feel the need to digitize what I still have before its too late. Hopefully I don't step on any toes in this process but please try to remember, if you were involved in these memories, that this is my own personal record of these events and may be slanted from my perspective. Feel free to comment your additions or any corrections you can think of.
So what follows is a collection of the stories I still have or any memories, no matter how partial, that I might recover in the future. I sometimes get flashes of memories that I can't quite piece together. Those flashes scare me most of all because they make it all too real just how much is lost.
I hope that someone reading this will be there to show it to me when I've lost this too.
Whatever the reason for your memory issues, I think this is a good idea. I have trouble remembering things for him not to long ago, but not nearly as much trouble as you have and I have learned that journaling helps us keep up with those things and can sometimes stimulate memories. I'll help as much as I can. I love you. Mom
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